after recovering from the heartache i had last july, am back again....still hurt,,, actually this time, a bit more confused..... i finally found a guy who likes and loves me as me.... but then..... a bad news shattered me.... this bad news is really shocking...... he has to leave for Canada to join his family... with this news... i cried.... i really cried... i really have no right to love and be loved....

today, i woke up feeling a lot better compared to the past 2 days. last time i was so weak and sad that even though how hard i tried to hide the pain i am feeling, people around me seems to really notice that i am sad.  I guess am just tired, but every body is tired... everyone is tired... i guess i just have to admit the fact that i really have feelings for him... the further and harder i deny it, the more and more i am being hurt.. all the while, i thought i was strong, strong enough to face the fact that there is a possibility that one day i will be seeing him with someone---that special someone in his life... but then... i am wrong... i am weak...  no matter how hard i try to be strong.. i always end realizing that i am weak...